写给女儿的一封信

 

Dear Daughter:
As we drove off from Columbia, I wanted to write a letter to you to tell you all that is on my mind.
当我们开车驶离哥伦比亚时，我萌生了想要写一封信的想法，藉此来和你谈谈心。
First, I want to tell you how proud we are. Getting into Columbia is a real testament of what a great well-rounded student you are. Your academic, artistic, and social skills have truly blossomed in the last few years. Whether it is getting the highest grade in Calculus, completing your elegant fashion design, successfully selling your painted running shoes, or becoming one of the top orators in Model United Nations, you have become a talented and accomplished young woman. You should be as proud of yourself as we are.
首先，我想要告诉你的是我们为你而骄傲。你是一个全面发展的优秀学生，考入哥伦比亚大学就证明了这一点。这几年里你的学业、艺术和社交技巧都有卓越的表现。无论是在微积分这门课上得到最高分，还是完成你的时尚优雅的设计、成功的卖出你绘制的跑鞋、或者成为“模拟联合国”演说中的佼佼者，你都证明了你已经成为一个天才而且有成就的女性。你的父母为你感到骄傲，你也应该像我们一样为自己感到自豪。
I will always remember the first moment I held you in my arms. I felt a tingling sensation that directly touched my heart. It was an intoxicating feeling I will always have. It must be that “father-daughter connection” which will bind us for life. I will always remember singing you lullaby while I rocked you to sleep. When I put you down, it was always with both relief (she finally fell asleep!) and regret (wishing I could hold you longer). And I will always remember taking you to the playground, and watching you having so much fun. You were so cute and adorable, and that is why everybody loved you so.
我将永远记得我第一次把你抱在我臂弯的那一刻。那种令人陶醉的感觉令我难以忘记。那一定就是维系一生的“父女情结”。我也常常想起哼唱摇篮曲轻摇你入睡的美妙时刻。当我把你放下时，心头总会涌上复杂的感觉，既解脱又惋惜，高兴的是你终于入睡了，惋惜的是我真的想多抱你一会。我会永远记得带你去运动场看你开心的玩耍。大家都很爱你，因为你是如此的可爱和迷人。
You have been a great kid ever since you were born, always quiet, empathetic, attentive, and well-mannered. You were three when we built our house. I remember you quietly followed us every weekend for more than ten hours a day to get building supplies.   You put up with that boring period without a fuss, happily ate hamburgers every meal in the car, sang with Barney until you fell asleep. When you went to Sunday Chinese school, you studied hard even though it was no fun for you.   I cannot believe how lucky we are as parents to have a daughter like you.
你一直是一个很乖巧的孩子，总是那么的安静、为人着想、听话又有礼貌。我们建房子的时候你刚刚三岁。我记得那时候每周末你总是和我们一起去运建筑材料，常常一去就要十几个小时，而你却一直很安静。在这些无聊的时间里你一点都不焦躁，高兴地在车里吃着汉堡，唱着儿歌直到入睡。你去上中文学习班时，尽管你觉得那很枯燥但你仍然很努力地学习。我们做父母的能有你这样的女儿真的感到非常幸运。

You have been an excellent elder sister. Even though you two had your share of fights, the last few years you have become best friends. Your sister loves you so much, and she loves to make you laugh. She looks up to you, and sees you as her role model. As you saw when we departed, she misses you so much. And I know that you miss her just as much. There is nothing like family, and other than your parents, your sister is the one person who you can trust and confide in. She will be the one to take care of you, and the one you must take care of. There is nothing we wish more than that your sisterhood will continue to bond as you grow older, and that you will take care of each other throughout your lives. For the next four years, do have a short video chat with her every few days, and do email her when you have a chance.

你是一个很称职的姐姐。虽然你们姐妹俩以前也会打架，但这几年你们已经成为了真正的好朋友。你的妹妹很爱你，而且她很喜欢逗你笑。她很崇拜你，把你看做她的偶像。你看，当我们不在一起时，她是多么的想念你。我知道你也很想她。世界上最宝贵的是就是家人。和父母一样，妹妹就是你最可以信任的人。你们彼此关心。随着年龄的增长，你们姐妹之间的情谊不变，你们互相照应，这就是我最希望见到的事情了。在你的大学四年，有空时你一定要常常跟妹妹视频聊聊天，写写电子邮件。
College will be the most important years in your life. It is in college that you will truly discover what learning is about. You often question “what good is this course”. I encourage you to be inquisitive, but I also want to tell you : “education is what you have left after all that is taught is forgotten”. What I mean by that is the materials taught isn’t as important as you gaining the ability to learn a new subject, and the ability to analyze a new problem. That is really what learning in college is about – this will be the period where you go from teacher-taught to master-inspired, after which you must become self-learner. So do take each subject seriously, and even if what you learn isn’t critical for your life, the skills of learning will be something you cherish forever.
大学将是你人生中最重要的一段时光。在大学里你会发现学习的真谛。你常常疑问：“这些课程有什么用？”我鼓励你打破沙锅问到底，但我也想要告诉你：“当所有在学校里所学的东西都被忘记是剩下的就是教育。”我想说的是你学到什么并不重要，重要的是你获得了学习新知识和分析解决问题的能力。这就是大学学习的真谛。大学中的学习由被动学习转变为主动学习，这之后你将会变成一个很好的自学者。所以要认真对待大学里学到的每一门课，即使你学到的并不是生活中所急需的，但是你所掌握的学习的技巧也将使你受用终生。

Do not fall into the trap of dogma. There is no single simple answer to any question. Remember during your high school debate class, I always asked you to take on the side that you don’t believe in? I did that for a reason -- things rarely “black and white”, and there are always many ways to look at a problem. You will become a better problem solver if you recognized that. This is called “critical thinking”, and it is the most important thinking skill you need for your life. This also means you need to become tolerant and supportive of others. I will always remember when I went to my Ph.D. advisor and proposed a new thesis topic. He said “I don’t agree with you, but I’ll support you.” After the years, I have learned this isn’t just flexibility, it is encouragement of critical thinking, and an empowering style of leadership, and it has become a part of me. I hope it will become a part of you too.

不要被教条所束缚。任何问题都没有唯一的答案。还记得在高中辩论课程中，我常常让你站在你不认可的角度去辩论吗？我这么做的是因为我想要你知道事情并不是非黑即白，我们要从多个角度来看待问题。意识到这一点，你就可以成为一个更好的问题解决者。这就是“批判性思维”，也是你一生受用的思维方式。这也意味着你需要变得包容和支持他人的不同观点。我将永远记得我向我的博士生导师提出一个新的论题时，他说：“我不同意你，但我支持你。”多年后，我明白这不仅仅是一种包容，更是一种对批判性思维的一种鼓励，更是一种令人折服的领导风格，也成为我现在处事风格的一部分。我希望这也能成为你的一部分。

Follow your passion in college. Take courses you think you will enjoy. Don’t be trapped in what others think or say. Steve Jobs says when you are in college, your passion will create many dots, and later in your life you will connect them. In his great speech given at Stanford commencement , he gave the great example where he took calligraphy, and a decade later, it became the basis of the beautiful Macintosh fonts, which later ignited desktop publishing, and brought wonderful tools like Microsoft Word to our lives. His expedition into calligraphy was a dot, and the Macintosh became the connecting line. So don’t worry too much about what job you will have, and don’t be too utilitarian, and if you like Japanese or Korean, go for it, even if your dad thinks “it’s not useful.” ：） Enjoy picking your dots, and be assured one day you will find your calling, and connect a beautiful curve through the dots.

大学里，你要追随自己的兴趣和热情。选择你认为你会感兴趣的课程。不要困扰于别人怎么说和怎么看。史蒂夫乔布斯曾经说过大学生活中你的兴趣会创造很多个点，在日后的生活中，点会被你串连起来。斯坦福毕业典礼中他给出一个很好的例子：在大学里他修习无用的书法，而十年后，这成为苹果Macintosh里漂亮字库的基础，而这又促进了桌面式操作系统的出现和美妙的字处理软件Microsoft Word的研发。他对书法的探索就是一个点，而而苹果Macintosh把多个点联结成了一条线。所以不要为你将来从事的工作而过多的担忧，也不要太急功近利，如果你喜欢日语或者韩语，那么就去学吧，即使你的爸爸曾说过：“那没什么用。”尽兴的选择你的点吧，要有信念有一天机缘来临时，你会找到自己的人生使命，绘出一条优美的人生曲线。

Do your best in classes, but don’t let pressure get to you. Your mother and I have no expectations for your grades. If you graduate and learn something in your four years, we would feel happy. Your Columbia degree will take you far, even if you don’t graduate with honors. So please don’t give yourself pressure。During your last few months in high school, you were so happy because there was little pressure and college applications are finished. But in the past few weeks, we saw you are beginning to worry (did you know you bite your nails when you are nervous?). Please don’t be worried. The only thing that matters is that you learned. The only metric you should use is that you tried. Grades are just silly letters that give the vain people something to brag, and the lazy people something to fear. You are too good to be either.

在功课上要尽自己最大努力，但不要给自己施加太大的压力。你的母亲和我在成绩上对你没有什么要求。如果你能顺利毕业而且在大学四年里学到了东西，我们就会感觉很欣慰。即使你毕业时没有取得优异的成绩，你的哥伦比亚大学学位也可以帮你很多。所以一定不要给自己太大的压力。在你高中生活的最后几个月，你一直很开心是因为没有任何压力而且大学的申请也结束了。但是在那之前的几周，我们看到你很忧虑（你知道你一紧张就会咬指甲吗？）。千万别担心。最重要的事情是你有在学习。唯一的衡量是你在尝试。成绩只是虚荣的人用来吹嘘而懒惰的人所恐惧的无聊数字而已。而你既不虚荣也不懒惰。

Most importantly, make friends and be happy. College friends are often the best in life, because during college you are closer to them physically than to your family. Also, going through independence and adulthood is a natural bonding experience. Pick a few friends and become really close to them – pick the ones who are genuine and sincere to you. Don’t worry about their hobbies, grades, looks, or even personalities. You have developed some real friendships in high school in your last two years, so trust your instinct, and make new friends. You are a genuine and sincere person – anyone would enjoy being your friend, so be confident, outgoing, and pro-active. If you think you like someone, tell her. You have very little to lose. Give people the benefit of the doubt; don’t stereotype and be forgiving. People are not perfect, so as long as they are genuine and sincere, trust them and be good to them. They will give back. This is my secret of success – that I am genuine with people and trust them (unless they do something to lose my trust). Some people tell me that occasionally I would be taken advantage of. They are right, but I can tell you that that loss is nothing compared to what I gained. In my last 18 years leading people, I have realized that only one thing matters – to gain the trust and respect of others, and to do so, you need to trust and respect others first.   Whether it is for management, work, or friendship, this is something you should ponder.

最重要的是交朋友和快乐生活。大学时的朋友往往是生命中最好的朋友，因为在大学里你们可以近距离的交往，甚至比和父母还亲近的接触。另外，一同成长，学会独立很自然你们就会紧紧的系在一起。选择那些对你真诚诚挚的人然后和她们真的变得很亲密。不要在意他们的爱好、成绩、相貌甚至个性。高中的最后两年你建立了一些真正的友谊，所以相信你的直觉，然后去交新朋友吧。你是一个真诚诚挚的人，任何人都会喜欢和你做朋友的，所以自信些、外向些、主动些。如果你认为你自己喜欢谁，告诉她。你不会失去任何东西。以最大的善意去对人，不要对人有成见要宽容。没有绝对完美的人，所以只要他们真诚诚挚，就信任他们，对他们友善。他们会回报你的。这就是我成功的秘诀—以诚待人、信任他人（除非他们失信于我）。一些人告诉我这样有时我会被占便宜。他们说的是对的，但是我要告诉你的是我所失去的远远少于我所得到的。在我做管理的过去的18年里，我发现只有一件事情至关重要—赢得他人的信任和尊敬，但是首先你需要尊敬和信任他人。无论是管理、工作、交友，这点都值得你参考。

Do keep your high school friends, and stay connected to them, but do not use them as substitutes for college friendship, and do not spend too much time with them, because that would eat into your time to make new friends.

和高中的同学保持友谊、常常联系，但是不要以此来替代大学时代的友谊，不要花费太多的时间在高中同学身上，因为这会使你没有足够的时间来结交新的朋友。

Start planning for your summers early – what would you like to do? Where would you like to live? What would you like to learn? What have you learned in college that might change your mind? I think your plan of studying fashion is good, and you should decide where you want to be, and get into the right courses. We of course hope you come back to Beijing, but you should go where you think is best for you.

早些规划暑期的安排—你想要做些什么？你想要呆在哪儿？你想要利用这段时间学些什么？你在大学里所学让你有了什么新的改变？我觉得你计划学习艺术设计的这个主意很不错，你需要预先决定你想要去哪里学习相应的课程。我们当然希望你能回北京，但是你要根据自己是否觉得这样适合来做出你的决定。

Whether it is summer-planning, or coursework planning, or picking a major, or managing your time, you should take control of your life. In the past, I have helped you quite a bit, whether it is in college application, designing your extracurricular activities, or picking the initial coursework. I will always be there for you, but the time has come for you to be in the driver’s seat – this is your life, and you need to be in control. I will always remember the exhilarating feeling in my life – that I got to decide to skip kindergarten, that I got to decide to change to computer science major, that I got to decide to leave academia for Apple, that I got to decide to go to China, that I got to decide to go to Google, and most recently, that I got to decide to start my own business. Being able to decide means you get to live the life that you want to. Life is too short to live the life others do or others want you. Being in control feels great. Try it, and you’ll love it!

无论是暑期安排还是课程计划亦或是选择专业还有管理时间，你都应该自己做决定。过去在大学申请、课外活动设计、初级课程选择上我都从旁帮助了你不少。我将会一直在你身边，但是现在到了你自己主宰人生的时刻，这是你的人生，你需要为自己的人生掌舵。我将会永远记得生命中那种激动人心的感觉—在幼儿园我决定跳级、读博时我决定改学计算机专业、决定离开学术界加盟苹果公司、决定来中国、决定加盟谷歌公司还有最近，我决定自己创业。能够自己做决定意味着你能够以自己喜欢的方式生活着。生命如此短暂，我们不能像别人一样活着更不能过别人想要你过的生活。掌控自己的人生很奇妙。试试吧，你会爱上它的！

I told your mom I’m writing this letter, and asked what she wanted me to say. She thought and said: “just ask her to take care of herself.” Simple but deeply caring – that is how your mother is, and that is why you love her so much. In this simple sentence is her hope that you will become independent in the way you take care of yourself – that you will remember to take your medicine, that you will get enough sleep, that you will have a balanced diet, that you will get some exercise, and that you will go see a doctor whenever you don’t feel good. An ancient Chinese proverb says that the most important thing to be nice to your parents is to take care of yourself. This is because your parents love you so much, and that if you are well, they will have comfort. You will understand this one day when you become a mother. But in the meantime, please listen to your mother and take care of yourself.

我告诉你妈妈我正在写这封信，问她有没有需要我转达给你的话。她想了一下然后说：“让她好好的照顾自己。”简单但深沉的关爱—这就是妈妈的爱，我想也是你们之所以这么爱她的原因。在这简短的话语中包含着她的希望，希望在学会照顾自己的过程中你能够变得越来越自立—你要记得按时吃药、保证充足睡眠、均衡饮食、适量运动、不舒服的时候一定要去看医生。中国古语有云对父母最好的孝道是照顾好自己。因为你的父母是那么的爱你，如果你很好他们也会很舒心。当你为人母亲的时候你就会懂得了。但在那天之前，听妈妈的话，好好照顾自己。

College is the four years where you have:
•    the greatest amount of free time
•    the first chance to be independent
•    the most flexibility to change
•    the lowest risk for making mistakes
So please treasure your college years – make the best of your free time, become an independent thinker in control of your destiny, evolve yourself into a bi-cultural talent, be bold to experiment, learn and grow through your successes and challenges.

你将生活四年的大学是：

拥有大把的自由时间；

学会独立的极好契机；

处于可塑性最强的时期；

犯错代价最低的四年。

所以，珍惜你的大学时光吧，好好利用你的空闲时间，成为掌控自己命运的独立思考者，发挥你的双文化特长，大胆的尝试，在成功和挑战中学习和成长。

When I faced the greatest challenge and opportunity in my life in 2005, you gave me a big hug and said “bonne chance”, which means “good luck” and “good courage”. Now I do the same for you. Bonne chance, my angel and princess. May Columbia become the happiest four years in your life, and may you blossom into just what you dream to be.

2005年，我面临人生中最大的挑战和机遇时你给我一个大大的拥抱对我说一句法语“bonne chance”，这句话代表“祝你勇敢，祝你好运！”。现在我把同样的话送给你。Bonne chance, 我的天使，我的公主。祝愿哥伦比亚的四年生活会成为你生命中的一抹亮色，也祝愿你成为你梦想成为的人！

Love,
Dad (& Mom)

 

来源：http://hi.baidu.com/cindy_%D0%C1/blog/item/d19cbbdf1f54871948540341.html